More sensical-nonsensical balladry for you! *does a silly dance*
Oh, the night was dark and stormy, and the moon kept shining bright,
And the stars cast burning rays down on the storm that raged all night
The lightning struck the cow-shed, and the cows all chewed their cuds,
And the moonlight set the prairie afire in the middle of the woods.
Oh, the barefoot boy with boots on came a-crawling down the street
His pants were filled with pockets, and his boots were filled with feet.
He was born when he was a baby, his grandma’s pride and joy
His only sister was a girl, and his brother was a boy.
He never was a triplet, but he always was a twin;
His legs were fastened to his knee, a little above the shins
His feet were fastened to his hips, several inches from his shoulder,
When he was grown, he was a man, and every year got older.
At last he married a woman, who quickly became his wife,
For he could not stay single and lead a married life.
His wife was full of notions, and her mouth was full of tongue,
She raised a dozen children, all born when they were young.
They had six girls and five boys, and then another child,
They never tried to tame them, just let them all go wild.
The youngest was the baby, and the oldest was born first
The good one was the very best, and the mean one was the worst.
They never knew their ages, and they did not seem to care
They knew they had a birthday coming to them every year;
They never knew their father’s age, but they always had a hunch
That he, being born before their day, was the oldest of the bunch.
And when they died, they could not speak, and their names they could not tell
And the girls all went to heaven, and the boys all went to Kingston.
Even in a ballad as strange as this, the first verse doesn’t seem to fit. I suppose it might be optional.